ESPN, on their website today, has an article warning everyone of the things you may find in the kitchens at ballparks across the country. Mice, roaches, grime, and other nasty collateral ingredients that may end up in your ballpark meal. Guess what, the 5-star restaurant down the street has this too. Of this, I can assure you. Let’s break this down and really look at what we’re getting into here.
First of all, if you’re headed to a baseball game with culinary quality in mind, you’re insane. It’s all about hot dogs and beer for the most part. Throw that heat lamped wiener on a stale bun and give it to me. I’ll chase it down with this absurdly overpriced room temperature beer and be the happiest person in the park. Now, don’t get me started on the helmet nachos. I want to meet the guy who decided to take a replica batting helmet, throw some nachos in it, add some cheese, ground beef, and jalapenos, only to be topped by more of the same in multiple layers and shake that guy’s hand. God bless you sir; or ma’am. That, my friends, is the kind of exquisite dining I can relate to.
Ballparks across the country have their own local flavor as well. We’ve all seen the stories that come out at the beginning of each season boasting a ridiculous combination of grub with an outrageous caloric level that we just HAVE to try. One of the favorites at Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati is the SkyRosa. For the unaware, this concoction is a must for all foodies and stadium goers. You take a slice of LaRosa’s pizza and place a Skyline coney on top. You fold it up and chow down. Shortly thereafter, you realize that this wonderful, glorious mesh of local favorites is pure heaven. You realize that, yes, God really does love us and wants us to be happy. About 7 innings later, you want another one.
Every team, every stadium, has their own version of the SkyRosa. It’s ridiculous, it’s unhealthy. It’s wonderful. It turns a simple baseball game into more of an experience. You’ll see complete strangers bonding over a 3,747 calorie lunch while watching a game in 94 degree heat, totally unaware that a visit to the ER is just a few more calories away. But damn, that stuff is good. One more cold beer to wash it down and we’re all set, right?