No no no, not like that. So Robert Kraft was busted in a massage parlor sting and is now facing charges for solicitation of prostitution. The stories online have gone so far out of control to the extent of sex trafficking. That’s ridiculous. You know, unless it turns out to be true. Then that’s bad. Really bad.
More than likely, this is nothing more than some bros going into a massage parlor for the good ole rub n tug. Fans of the other 31 teams in the NFL would love for this to be more. Nothing unites fans like the mutual hatred for the team on top. The New England Patriots are that team. And Robert Kraft is the face of that team, along with Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. Initial reports said there were bigger names on the list of those arrested. I saw the list, didn’t know of anyone else on it. I think the media was relying on fake news for the sake of clickbait again. They knew that people would click in the hopes of finding Tom Brady’s name on there.
What did Kraft pay for this this extra service? A mere $80. That’s it, $80. The man is worth 6.6 billion dollars. To put this in layman’s terms, it would be the equivalent of me paying less than a penny for a happy ending. There’s not a man alive who wouldn’t drop a copper piece for that. A penny to you and me is $80 to Robert Kraft. Go ahead, Ling Pei, do your magic. “You likey? Me sukky sukky for you?” Men across America nod their heads in unison at this point.
It’s 2019, folks. Social media is on the prowl in every corner of the world. Cameras are everywhere catching every little thing each one of us does. This includes everything from store robberies to someone scratching their ass waiting for an Uber. Collectively, we would all be better off acting as though those cameras are on us 24/7. Somebody somewhere is catching it all on film.
None of this is to give a thumbs up to Robert Kraft. If he broke the law, he broke the law. But the dollar amount qualifies it as a misdemeanor. He’ll pay his fine, go back to his hot girlfriend, and go on about his life while we trudge through our respective 9 to 5s. For those hoping he gets the book thrown at him, learn the law a little bit. Kraft isn’t going to apologize to you because your crappy team missed the playoffs. Again. Kraft engaged in the world’s oldest profession and got caught. It’s not the end of the world or the end of the New England Patriots’ dynasty. It’s nothing more than a story for the drama queens and the haters to bring up when the Patriots are center stage again. As usual, it will have no effect on what happens on the field.
In other news, we have a full slate of college basketball games today. Fill your day with that instead of useless drama. We also have some spring training games. How beautiful will that first crack of the bat be?