OSU Wants to Trademark the Word ‘The”

Yes, this is ridiculous. Ohio State University, referred to by their fans as THE Ohio State University, actually filed a patent with THE US Patent and Trademark Office to trademark ‘the’. A common article. I wish I was joking. But alas, here I am.

I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure you can’t trademark a word so widely used by, oh I don’t know, everyone. It’s a common article in THE English language. This would be akin to Michigan trying to trademark THE color blue, or Florida trying to get a patent on alligators. It makes no sense at all. None.

I live about 5 miles from THE Ohio border, so I know quite a few Ohio State fans. Exactly zero of them think this is a good idea. As a matter of fact, they seem more embarrassed than anything. How can any university, in all their pomposity, think that they can do this? This is almost as bad of a decision as sweeping domestic violence under THE rug. My assumption is that this whole thing will get kicked to THE curb. Again, I’m not a lawyer. Common sense tells me it will though. One thing you can definitely count on is some premium Gameday signs regarding this fiasco. I am looking forward to that.

With everything that has taken place in Columbus over the last few years, you would think they would want to lay low for a while…………or a decade. Maybe move some bodies around on THE advisory board to avoid this kind of thing. Hey everybody, we’ve totally screwed up lately, but look at us now. We want to patent a word. That’s a big nope from anyone with any sense at all. I’m hoping, for the sake of humanity, that THE fan base feels THE same.

Time will tell if patent #88571984 lives or dies. If THE patent succeeds, only God knows what trademarks will be filed going forward. Could Texas Tech trademark THE term ‘bubble screen’? Who would get dibs on Wildcats and Tigers? There seems to be a plethora of those in college. If Alabama trademarks ‘Tide’, will Procter & Gamble have to fight that in court? Obviously, I’m joking, but you can easily see how badly this could get out of hand. There is no way any office or court could allow this. I’ve been surprised before though by our decision making in this country.

On THE bright side, we’re 9 days away from THE first game of the season. THE wait is almost over. Florida faces Miami next Saturday afternoon, then Arizona will be in Hawaii later that night. 9 days. It’s here, guys.

THE end.

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